There is no great secret to the art of positive discipline. If there were, parents would feel they had a fighting chance.   It is more a labor of demonstration, repetition and most of all patience. I am sure there are some days where even Mother Teresa herself would have given up.  That is the part where patience comes is.  Here at Bridges, we use Positive Discipline and most days it actually works.

Suggestions For Positive Discipline

As your children grow older, it is natural for them to try to challenge you.  Sometimes it just seems easier to let them have their way.  While this approach can be tempting, I can promise you this short term solution will have long term negative consequences.  What seems to work best for children are clearly defined limits, clearly defined consequences and consistent guidance in employing these.

Discipline is most successful when it is balanced with love, respect and understanding.

We use positive, effective discipline techniques at Bridges.   Our rules are very clear.  It is much easier for children to follow the rules when they know what to expect.  Each of our rules has a consequence attached to it.  The consequences are equally clear.  For example:  “If you throw the puzzle piece again, you will not be permitted to play with it for the rest of today.”  There are always those children who find it necessary to test the rules.  When they do, we employ the set consequence.  We stand our ground and remain strong in our decisions.  No wavering.  We calmly explain that because you threw the puzzle piece again, you are not permitted to play with this toy for the rest of today.

Being firm and consistent lets a child know we mean business.

We strongly believe in positive feedback.  Teachers  would much rather focus on what children do well as opposed to what they have done wrong.  We believe this encourages them to try even harder to behave properly.  When we see behavior we like, we let the children know.  “Thank you for cleaning up the blocks so quietly.  You did a great job!”  Every child likes to be noticed for an accomplishment.  Genuine praise fosters self pride.  Being proud of yourself, and acting in a way that shows it, is a wonderful attribute.

Confidence building is something else we strongly believe in.

When children do things on their own, they build confidence.  Carefully and slowly demonstrate how a task should be completed.  Allow the children to watch so they can learn.  When they are ready, let them try to complete the assignment on their own.  Praise their efforts and offer corrections for their mistakes.  Encourage them to try again, reminding them that they will get better at something when they properly practice it.

While all of these tactics have a high success rate, there are some days when nothing works.  That is the time to dig deep, thank God for your sense of humor and laugh.  There is always tomorrow.