As Summer approaches the half-way mark, parents begin to focus on a new school year. I can tell because I have begun to receive the necessary paperwork and tuition payments that are due by August 1st.
I have also been receiving a fair number of phone calls all dealing with the same concern.
“My two or three year old has never been away from me before and I am afraid they will cry.”
My response usually surprises them. I tell them “They probably will. I think I would.” After the usual short period of silence, I reassure them that we at Bridges do not take this lightly. We are prepared for it and have many methods we employ to calm an unsure toddler.
Think about the psyche of a three year old. They are in a room with peers and adults they don’t really know. The classroom seems great, the teachers are smiling, but it doesn’t feel right. Other kids are crying. If they are crying, then something must be wrong. I think I’ll cry too.
Crying is a form of communication.
A two or three year old is incapable of saying I think I am feeling unsure about my surroundings. Would you please re-explain to me why this is a nice school? Their response to an unfamiliar environment can be tears, tantrums, or screaming.
I feel for the parents who are looking in the classroom on the first day. This is what they see; some children are quietly playing, others are just watching, some are crying and a small portion may be loudly expressing their desire to be home. As all this is going on, there is a teacher and classroom assistant with beautiful smiles on their faces, perhaps blowing bubbles or singing songs. They remain unaffected by the noise and are calm in their approach.
Each year someone asks me “How does the teacher do it?” I tell them we love what we do. We understand the feelings of a child and the art of reassurance–for both the student and their family.
Before too long, the room becomes quiet and the children join in the fun. When the parents who left return for pick up, they are usually amazed at the change.
I tell everyone, “I would never lie to you.”
If you ask me how your child did on any day, I will tell you the truth. Imagine the trust you would have in me if I tell you your child had a great day and then when you see them, their eyes are red and swollen and their nose is runny.
So for all of you with Day One Jitters, after 20 years of experience, I can safely say fears and tears can be a typical part of the beginning of any child’s journey. It’s why any nursery school teacher will tell you, at the end of the day, their greatest reward is simply a smile on you and your child’s face. And if it takes more than one day to get that smile, we have plenty of patience….and tissues! 
